I’ve posted something similar before, but wanted to repost something about someone very special in my life, and recognize her on her birthday. She would be 84 today.
Everyone has someone in their life that stands out above the rest. That someone may have inspired you to be what you are today, or may have shaped your life in such a way that you are who you are because of them.
Those who know me would describe me as being independent, having a strong will and determination that drives me through everything I do. I always try to find the good in people. Through the years I have learned the importance of seeing all sides of an issue before drawing my own conclusions. I also believe in the importance of education. I am an avid reader, believing their is benefit in both fiction and nonfiction. Reading broadens your vocabulary, expands your awareness of ideas and culture, as well as enhances knowledge. I love popcorn, coffee, chocolate gravy. This is a hodge podge of information, but it is important in defining who I am. I attribute much of this to my inspirational person.
The single most influential individual of my life was born on this day, March 10, 1922. She is my grandmother. The second oldest of seven, she was raised in the employee housing of Gorgas Steam Plant. Susceptible to illness, childhood was a struggle for her. When she reached the ninth grade she quit school and went to work, helping to provide for her brothers and sisters. Throughout her adult life she worked in various factories across the south, or kept house for wealthier families. She married my grandfather and had three children. After he died of cancer she was left to raise and provide for her children. She was able to do this by running a shoe repair shop. They had very little, but she made it work, and did it without government assistance. She refused to let the kids get free lunches at school. She was not about to be dependent on a handout. They had the bare necessities, and nothing more.
Gran held to the value of education, realizing that it could have provided more for her life. Please do not think that because she quit school in the ninth grade that she was not intelligent. She is one of the most intelligent people I know. She read everything she could get her hands on. All of her children’s school books. She would have to learn how to complete the math equations in order to help her children with their homework. She would have to learn the theorems and chemistry concepts in order to help her children study for tests. Her oldest son was dyslexic and had other struggles as well. She refused to allow him to use it as an excuse, telling him that he could do it, he just had to work harder than the others. To help her children through the difficult times, and to understand their developmental quirks she read psychology books. She did whatever it took to reach her goal. Eventually she remarried and had another son. However, when her husband died she found herself again alone, working hard to support her children.
Skip ahead many years. She was in her mid-fifties when I came along. My father was not responsible, and my mother left him, taking my brother but leaving me in the care of my grandmother. Gran was in no shape to take care of a baby. She had fallen ill that year. When she was in the hospital I had to stay with various family members. At two, I had no idea what was going on, or really that anything was wrong. When Gran would come home I would return to her care. Sometimes my dad was there, sometimes not. Gran was on oxygen all the time. I would have to be careful riding my trycicle in the house not to ride over her breathing cord. It would stretch from her hospital bed all over the house.
She had good years and bad. If I didn’t have school I could stay at the hospital with her. During the high school years more of the home duties fell to me as she had to stay in bed more. Through it all she insisted that I continue playing in the band and strive to be the best I could be. She also insisted that I not allow my extra activities to get in the way of my grades, as both were important for me to go to college. Attending college was never a question, it was an expectation. There were several times in high school that I thought she wouldn’t come home from the hospital. That was a hard fact to deal with. Gran was the only person in my life that was consistent. She was the only person who believed I could do whatever I wanted to do, and the only person who pushed me to strive for everything I wanted out of life.
I started college in 1994. Gran began to spend more time in and out of the hospital. Eventually she went to live with my aunt. I met my husband that year. Gran liked him immediately and was thrilled that I had found someone so wonderful. My aunt later told me that Gran said she could die now, knowing that I would be taken care of. That thought brings tears.
1996 was a very bad year. In August the doctors insisted she was brain dead. Since she was squeezing my hand when they said it I didn’t put much faith in what they said. Gran was fighting for her life, fighting for her chance to see my first child. She returned from her coma after dialysis. Her great grandaughter was born in January of 1997. Gran was back in the hospital and wasn’t expected to make it out. So when the baby was a week old I took her to see Gran. She made sure the baby had all fingers and toes, and she held her great-grandaughter…my first child. I have a picture of that day, Gran with the baby next to her on the bed…machines and wires in the background.
Gran died of complete system failure in May of 1997. She fought hard to the very end. It was her decision to do so. We made sure we knew what she wanted. She taught us all that it was important to do everything you could do to succeed. To never leave anything to chance. She taught me to fight for what I want. She taught me to never give up. She wanted to live as long as her body would let her. She should have been dead so many times. In fact, when I was three she was dead for about four minutes. She survived a stroke, several ministrokes, emphysema, asthma, severe allergies, numerous cases of congestive heart failure, the birth of four children, and battled everything life through at her for 75 years. We didn’t have much, but we made do with what we had.
A quote that is very fitting for her life and for what I learned from her…
“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” Theodore Roosevelt
