Kontan’s Place

It’s 12:13 AM. Putting off going to bed, I stopped at the computer thinking I would browse for a few minutes. I pulled up MySpace and saw I had a new message. It was JP, letting me know that a dear friend lost his battle with cancer and passed away this morning. I feel terrible. The last time I saw Jason he was working his way through college. I was pregnant with our first child. I think now that it can’t have been 10 years ago, but I guess it was. It’s one of those things where you let time slip away. Throughout the years we stayed in touch via email, but we never had another face to face reunion. It is horrible that it takes one’s death to remind us how precious life is.

Jason was one of my best friends, and my best rival. We met in 6th grade and the competition was on. He played trumpet and so did I. After the first chair tryouts he sat first and I sat second. We swapped back and forth over the next three years. Sometimes I would win, others he would. It was a friendly rivalry. That was also the time when he would get great delight out of making me and Steph shriek by sneaking up behind us and tickling the ribs.

Not much changed in high school. His older brother was in band too, a much more serious guy. Jason stayed the same. He was a big guy and a big personality. For a while he remained on trumpet, and we continued to compete. During concert season he moved to baritone and even tuba I believe. He was a very talented brass player. What he lacked in finesse he made up for in power.

Despite his teasing tendencies he really was a gentleman. I can remember several times when Gran would pick me up from school and there would be an issue with her car. Jason and his brother Greg would always tweak whatever needed to be tweaked so that we could be on our way. They did it with a cheerful heart and Gran just loved them.

I made every attempt to be a liberal in high school. Jason was a die-hard conservative all the way through and probably a card carrying Republican when he graduated. We would argue about candidates, policy, anything really. We just really enjoyed arguing with each other. Always the competition.

He was also a Christian. Where some teens had trouble displaying their faith, Jason had no qualms. He was loud and proud. I really respected him for the fact that even though he wasn’t perfect, he talked the talk and walked the walk.

Senior year I had the chance to go to prom with him. I hadn’t planned on going. Junior prom was not all that spectacular so I made other plans for prom weekend. Then Larry needed a date, and I really liked Larry so I was willing to go, but then that didn’t work out so friends tried to get me to go with Jason. I did not want to go to prom…nothing against Jason at all. We would only go as friends anyway…I had planned to go to my mothers. Also, I just didn’t want to go through having him come to pick me up and dealing with my extended family. Probably ridiculous, but if you know me it may make sense.

I have said before that out of my friends in high school none of them knew what was going on in my life. Only one had guessed. That one was Jason. I’ll never ever forget his actions. A former friend was spreading rumors…distortions of truth really. No one believed it. I had my close group and they stood by me. But Jason pulled me aside and asked point blank if it was true. I told him that what she said was not true. Jason looked me in the eye and told me that if I ever needed someone or needed help that I could tell him and he would help take care of it. I really believe that all I had to do was admit to him the hell that my life was at that time and things would have changed. I really think he saw the truth through the rumor, but didn’t know how to ask if what he thought was the truth was real. He let me know that it was OK to tell him if I needed to and that it would not be taken the same way as my vindictive friend had. I’ll never get to thank him for that compassion.

Don’t put off telling someone that you appreciate them. It is very painful when you lose them and realize just how precious life is.

Could we see when and where we are to meet again, we would be more tender when we bid our friends goodbye.
Marie Louise De La Ramee