Life and its end

This has not been a good few weeks for me. My birth father passed away on the 24th. I received a call today that my step-dad could not keep fighting emphysema and his body gave up. He died yesterday. I do not know what my mother will do or how she will cope with this, but I feel terrible for her. I liked my step-dad, he was nice enough and treated her well. He raised my brother as his own and was good to me too.

It is a sad reminder that life is not a guarantee. Anything can happen, anytime. It could be scary if you allow it to consume you. The people left have to make so many decisions in a time of utter confusion and grief. I’m at a loss for words these days. There is guilt for things I had no control over and sadness for things undone, unsaid. I pray that my mother will be strong through this. I don’t know what she will do from this point forward. To my knowledge they were inseparable. I’ve never known them to be apart any period of time. I can’t imagine…don’t want to.

Goals for the weekend:

  • *strength
  • *avoid the desire to sleep and wallow in sadness over what was or was not
  • *finish my school work that I have no choice but to have complete by Monday



    • Life does not slow down when we don’t want to face its obstacles. It just keeps going, dragging us along with it until it is our stop.

    December 06 2007 11:56 pm | Ramblings

    6 Responses to “Life and its end”

    1. Tense Teacher Says:
      December 7th, 2007 at 8:38 pm

      I’m so sorry for the loss of both fathers. You’ll get your groove back soon, I have no doubt. But don’t feel badly if you do need to wallow for a little while; you’re certainly entitled to that.

    2. sage Says:
      December 8th, 2007 at 10:02 pm

      Oh Kontan, I’m so sorry to learn about another loss–don’t try to be strong, take time to grieve and to allow others the same space. You and your family will be in my prayers.

    3. Purplerain01 Says:
      December 9th, 2007 at 9:45 pm

      Sorry to hear about another loss in your family. My family also had spell of bad news. My step-mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. I hate stuff like this happened so close to the holidays.

    4. Dawn Says:
      December 11th, 2007 at 1:09 pm

      keeping you in my prayers!
      love, Dawn

    5. Bone Says:
      December 11th, 2007 at 10:21 pm

      Oh my goodness. I am so very sorry.

      I think it is OK to wallow in sadness for a few hours or even days. I think you’re allowed, all the time you need.

      Life does go on, but hopefully you can find some moments to try and recover.

    6. kontan Says:
      December 12th, 2007 at 10:01 pm

      Thanks you for your kind words and prayers.

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