Today was decoration day for my Grandfather’s folk. A very old cemetery, the girls were fascinated by the old headstones and antebellum dates. They were saddened by the fact that so many infants and children were buried there. It is difficult for us to fathom a world without modern medicine.

As we arrived we were greeted by a few familiar faces, but for me there were more that were unfamiliar. As a child, Gran entertained me with stories of my Grandfather’s family. The names were familiar, but I couldn’t put names with faces. As I would introduce myself I had to also explain my lineage and introduce my own children. I didn’t feel too bad about not knowing most people. After all, they didn’t recognize me either. However, they at least had a point of reference after introductions. I began to wonder, what must this be like for my aunts?

My Grandfather’s sisters both suffer from Alzheimer’s disease. On Saturday I stopped by Aunt C’s house to visit with her and my great aunt N who is afflicted with this terrible disease. Aunt N still knows the names of her children, but gets them confused. She struggles to walk, and has to have help with daily tasks. When I came to visit it had to be terribly confusing for her. It was me and the girls and my oldest looks just like I did at the same age. Aunt N asked Aunt C if she knew who I looked like. Aunt C tried to get her to say by asking who she thought I looked like, but Aunt N told her that she asked first. AD has not stolen her stubbornness. We visited for a while and talked with frequent reminders of who I was. Sunday, decoration day, Aunt N knew someone had come to visit the day before but she was confused about who it was. We reminded her who I was again and my youngest took a place beside Aunt N. It was the cutest thing to watch. Lil Bit knew that Aunt N is a very special person and that she now needs special consideration. Lil Bit took to entertaining her for the afternoon. She called me over because Aunt N wanted to tell me something…She and Lil Bit wanted strawberries and grapes. I got them a plate of fruit and gave to Lil Bit. It was easier for her to hold it steady. It was really cute to see them sharing a plate of fruit and Lil Bit feeding grapes to my 86 year old aunt.

My 90 year old Aunt H also has AD. Although she has been symptomatic for longer, she is responding differently than Aunt N. Aunt H is as happy as can be and physically able to get into all kinds of trouble if she chooses. When I said hello to her she responded with a smile, “I don’t know anything these days, who are you?” She greeted everyone with a smile and a hug or kiss, then asked who they were. She’s rather self sufficient, but dangerously so because her memory is so poor. Around time to go she was entertaining herself on her little get about scooter. She would ride around in a circle and stop in front of you to say she would take you for a ride if she had a trailer. It was really the cutest sight.

I can remember her taking me for four wheeler rides twenty years ago and worrying because she was going so fast…keep in mind she is 90 now.

Despite the fact that she has suffered with AD for years, I was told that after I left she picked up a picture of all her family lined up in the cotton fields and named every person in it. That picture was taken about 70 years ago, or more.

This post is just a brief glimpse of the day. It is so sad to see someone who has had their memory stolen by AD. As I recall the day I am so proud of my girls for taking the repeated introductions in stride. I am also impressed with how Lil Bit responded to Aunt N and embraced her as she was and made her comfortable. It is impressive to see an 8 year old show such compassion as they care for another. I wish my girls could have known my aunts as they really were. They would have had so much fun on Aunt H’s farm, playing with her animals and going for rides through the fields. Lil Bit, my artsy child, would have enjoyed painting and crafting with Aunt N. Lil Bit doesn’t see her as disabled. She just sees her as the very special person that she has always been. She just needs more help now…and according to Lil Bit, candy would be a perfect gift for our next visit.

AD is so cruel.

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 8th, 2008 at 9:12 pm and is filed under Ramblings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.