Kontan.

It’s a little late for Bone‘s NaBloSoFroDraWe, nat’l blog it from draft week, but I needed to relax a little before finishing this one. I started it in the heat of frustration, then felt it was best to just breathe.

You know what they say about fish and guests…Yeah, I think we reached that point rather quickly. Within the family, our families are all so different. Different ways of doing things, beliefs, philosophy, etc…I’m the baby and sometimes I think my cousin forgets that I am an adult…and one with a little education too. The AL home used to be a place that I would smile and embrace the chaos. It was great to enjoy for a few days. This time was vastly different and I really don’t know why. Nothing had really changed, but the things that bothered me before were exponentially more irritating. In fact, I could have left the day after I got there and felt like my obligation to visit had been met.

Just a few things…

We are pretty low key, the ALfam is not. We regulate our snacking, the ALfam does not. My girls were given strict instructions to not put me in a position to have to defend anything I say. No means no, and there will be absolutely no further discussion of the matter without major penalty. If it is after 9 PM there will be no snacks, and that is about an hour past our normal rule. No snacks means no popcorn, ice cream, ice pops, chocolate milk, anything edible. Water or milk only, and I would prefer water. The snack thing is a big issue there. I always end up the bad guy. I’m sorry, one bag of chips, at 160 calories, is plenty and my girls do not need to eat two or THREE in a sitting! Why is that unreasonable? Apparently it is. I told Lil Bit one only. Although nothing was said, it was clear by action that I was thought of as being too strict on the matter. Comments were made to the other kids that they couldn’t have anymore either. When eating out I make mine order off the children’s menu or split an adult portion. I do not feel this is unreasonable since I too can split an adult portion and be perfectly satisfied. Eating at their local Mexican restaurant I ordered Lil Bit’s child’s plate quesadilla and split fajitas with Preteen-drama-queen. No worries, the girls were cool with it. The ALfam insisted that the child’s size was too small and that PDQ did not have to split with me. I insisted that our order was satisfactory and that was what they were having. Their girls ordered quesadilla’s from the adult menu. As it turns out, the quesadilla plates were about the same size. Lil Bit finished hers and was full. The other two girls didn’t eat one of their sides. PDQ and I couldn’t finish all the fajita plate. After this late dinner we stopped at the pharmacy where ALfamDad came out with candybars for everyone. It’s almost 9 PM and we just stuffed ourselves, really? I didn’t eat mine and I asked the girls to wait until they were out of the car with napkins handy to eat theirs. I had already been heavy handed at dinner so I figured this was not a battle I wanted to engage in on our last night. Please note, that the girls have learned to not be the source of conflict when there. They are not the ones that make issue out of food conflicts. All I want is moderation people…and I would like for junk food to disappear.

Philosophy and opinion tend to be the other issues. While in AL I met with my childhood best friend who put things accurately. He said those who lack information for the basis of their opinion only have volume and constance to back up their opinion. Talk loud. Talk often. I think he is right. Most of the time I just close my mouth and nod, but there are times that I just can’t fight the urge. One example, after many counts of closed mouth and nod moments, we were driving and talking about something (no clue what now) when the minimum wage was mentioned. I commented about it being raised to $7.25 now and was immediately declared wrong. They insisted it was only $6.15 or lower. Um…no. I am a news junkie, and I know that I did not read the increase wrong. After saying I was pretty sure and being told I was wrong I sat back and remained quite…as I searched my phone for the news article. After finding it, I handed the phone to the front seat where I then heard, “oh, well that’s a recent thing then.” Um, yes…it’s called current events, which I happen to be slightly obsessed with.

This in itself is not a big deal, but it is on the back on numerous other little deals of being put off as wrong/misinformed/uninformed. I’m sort of beating a deceased horse here so I will leave it at that…although, I do want to add that in a discussion of history and historical perspective. Bachelor’s and a Master’s here, with 15 years of study and instruction. I kinda know the subject a little. Just sayin’.

Last annoyance, and the most hurtful I think…

Religion is a subjec that we pretty much stay away from. My family is, somewhat, viewed as radical right wing conservative fundamentalists. If you have been reading here a while and have this same view please let me know b/c I seriously need to re-evaluate myself. We are Christian and I try to remain middle of the road on most things. I strive to understand both sides on an issue and the perspectives of each before I make up my mind on where I stand. We do attend church and we do try to be involved. The conversation topic was helping others around the world. Specifically how my cousin was sacrificing his morning coffee at his favorite coffee shop in order to save the money to give to an orphanage in Kenya. My aunt thinks this is absurd since he only enjoys a few perks in life and this is one of them. I responded that it was something he felt he needed to do and that I was proud of him for being sacfrificial. She didn’t understand what good it actually did. As the conversation continued she asked me, “well how many of those children you went to work with got out?” This referring to my trip to Haiti when we were working with an orphanage there. I am no longer affiliated with the that church anymore so I really have no answer. I know we made a difference at that time. I know that others went and continued that work. She seemed to indicate that there is no point if you can’t change their entire life. I don’t think that the attempts to help others have to be large scale. Every little thing you can do is a step in the right direction. To insinuate that your small attempt does more harm than good and your attempts are pointless, hurtful. IMO, it’s better than doing nothing.