From left to right: Alli, Djembe (Jem), Tiki, Me, Lil Bit, Big Bit, Tchaik, Blackie
As it is Valentine’s Day I guess it is only appropriate for me to do my second introductions post and tell you about Djembe. Our story is strange, but I find it amusing. For those who haven’t figured it out yet Djembe is my husband. I sometimes refer to him as Jem, Mr. Wonderful, the Cook, or my little drummer boy. The word Djembe refers to an African drum. I chose the nickname because Jem is a percussionist…a rather good one if I do say so myself.
I met Jem at a Halloween party, October 29, 1994. On and off we spent the evening talking and laughing together. At that time I knew he was older than me, but I had no idea by how much. It didn’t matter. We had really connected and I was looking forward to getting to know him better. Over time we figured out that our paths had been crossing for years.
While I was in high school he was the drum instructor at a rival high school. We had attended many of the same competitions and shows, but never crossed paths. That’s a good thing given that he is eleven years older. We also discovered that I met his best friend a few years before I ever met him. I had my heart set on attending another college and had been visiting the other college and playing with their band all through my high school years. Jem’s best friend was involved with the drum line there. Another odd quinky dink, Jem was a roommate of a cousin of mine. When Jem met my favorite great-aunt at a family get together he was surprised to realize he had met her before. I fully believe that regardless of my college choice we would have eventually crossed paths to end up together.
After we finally met we were close from the start. Being apart was absolutely miserable. We met at the end of October and after a miserable Christmas break apart we decided that being apart was not something we would let happen again. We married May of 1995.
Through good times and bad we have grown together. He is my best friend. He is my valentine.
Every six months or so I get restless. Djembe has learned to humor me during these times. He will rearrange the furniture or help me paint. He even broke his arm because of me. (Curious? Read about it here and the miserable ER visit here.) OK, not because of me…the TV mounting was not ALL my idea. Anyway, he is Mr. Wonderful when it comes to dealing with my latest whim.
Today I had the grand idea to switch the music room and the living room. The catalyst for this decision was the fact that the living room wall is shared with the shower wall in the bathroom. If someone is taking a shower it is all you can hear, and if someone wishes to enjoy a relaxing bath all they can hear is the TV. The other reason, I like the fireplace and want it to get the respect that it deserves instead of sharing the glory with Jem’s awesome TV. I was very surprised when Jem agreed that it was a good idea. Despite the hours that the transition required I must say it was not just a good idea, it was great. The living room will now close off. It is a cozy space, very relaxing. The den is just as relaxing. It needs one more chair, but that is not essential to enjoy the serenity of a relaxing workspace and fireplace. (I am such a pyro.) A couch and my comfy chair are sufficient for now. The PC is in here as well. I must say, it works. I’m just thankful that I have someone willing to appease me. I am still going to petition for his drum stuff to accent the office den. I really liked having a music room.
Everyone worked together today. There were tense times when the girls insisted on being under foot. They did their part though. They cleaned their rooms and worked on getting their clean clothes folded and put away. I like when we are working together. These days it is essential.
Today is the end of winter break. We will begin the new school year Monday. *sigh* I’m not ready. Yes, the weekend is ahead and there are two more days until the beginning. These days will be spent planning for the semester ahead. I’m not teaching at the local university this semester. As much as I enjoyed it and will miss it, it is nice to not have the extra stress. Besides, I can find so many other things to stress over.
So what have we done on break? We cleaned the house…pretty much. Laundry. Christmas prep, Christmas cleanup. Mostly, relaxation was the goal. Djembe let me catch up on much needed sleep. In fact, it is going to be difficult to get back into the work groove. Let’s face it, I’ve never been a rise and shine kind of girl.
I do have a new outlook for ‘08. I can’t let the students get to me. I have to face the fact that most of them do not care as much as I do. I need to go in, do the best that I can possibly do, help who I can, and come home- leaving the frustration at the school. But enough about that…
Here’s what we’ve done when we weren’t relaxing at home:
Take a walk to the park and let the girls ride their bikes. They like to go to the pavilion and look for turtles and fish, or just stare at the water.
Encouraging Alli to play is always fun. Well…for us.
Playing with Tiki is fun too, but she either curls up or stares at you funny when you stop playing and get the camera.
The girls discovered Jiffy Pop. Stove pop popcorn is a cool novelty for them.
So much to enjoy. It was a grand relaxation. I am enjoying the final Friday evening of break blog hopping and meeting my Blog365 obligations. The fire is toasty, the hot chocolate is grand. (I love the whipped cream on top!) Later a Merlot and my book.
This has not been a good few weeks for me. My birth father passed away on the 24th. I received a call today that my step-dad could not keep fighting emphysema and his body gave up. He died yesterday. I do not know what my mother will do or how she will cope with this, but I feel terrible for her. I liked my step-dad, he was nice enough and treated her well. He raised my brother as his own and was good to me too.
It is a sad reminder that life is not a guarantee. Anything can happen, anytime. It could be scary if you allow it to consume you. The people left have to make so many decisions in a time of utter confusion and grief. I’m at a loss for words these days. There is guilt for things I had no control over and sadness for things undone, unsaid. I pray that my mother will be strong through this. I don’t know what she will do from this point forward. To my knowledge they were inseparable. I’ve never known them to be apart any period of time. I can’t imagine…don’t want to.
Goals for the weekend:
*strength
*avoid the desire to sleep and wallow in sadness over what was or was not
*finish my school work that I have no choice but to have complete by Monday
Life does not slow down when we don’t want to face its obstacles. It just keeps going, dragging us along with it until it is our stop.
I was thankful to see Friday arrive. The weekend will be filled with work, but that’s OK. It is not long until winter break. I’m still blogging only to be blogging. I know some of you understand that. It isn’t that I don’t like it, I just don’t know what to say. Sometimes it is beneficial to just start typing and let whatever comes out come out. There are so many things that I am still not ready to face, not ready to verbalize or type into reality. I feel like Tchaik in a storm. Tchaik is our big boy… When it storms he wants to come inside and you can sometimes find him hiding under the bed. His head is the only part that fits so the rest of his body is sticking out…but he feels hidden because no one can see his face. It is much easier to face something if we pretend that all is well, or we can keep it hidden. [protect]There are times when everything feels normal and others when it feels like the world has collapsed. I don’t totally understand. I’ve had no contact for years and knew that this day would one day come. I expected it. One can not live a self destructive lifestyle and make it to a ripe old age. It happens but just isn’t the norm. I never knew that it would be as shocking as it was. I didn’t know what was expected or what I was supposed to do. My great-uncle told me that I needed to do exactly what I wanted and not worry about anything else. Now those who wanted money made it clear what my responsibilities were. Talk about kick someone when they are down. I told them they were speaking without all the facts and didn’t know what they were talking about…but it doesn’t change the guilt. Guilt. MY guilt. WTH, why do I feel guilty? I did what I thought was best to protect myself and my children. It doesn’t change the guilt. I have to face that he engaged in a self destructive life long before I came along and long after I left. Somehow I have to understand that it is not my fault. So many what if questions surface. Currently listening to my iTunes library. Playing is Chris Rice, Everything’s OK. I really need it to be. One thing that I learned from this week: I have family that considers me their own and they are willing to go through the most uncomfortable situations just to support me through it. Great-uncle didn’t have to be the messenger, but he was and he told me it was OK to feel how I felt. My cousin CA has been one that is so often there during tough times. She and her husband were there when our first was born. She was the nearest family last time we lived here. She stood behind me Tuesday. MW and his parents, without them I wouldn’t have faith that God has a reason for everything. They were there. In fact, MW’s dad spoke at Grans funeral too. He didn’t have to speak Tuesday, but he did. They didn’t have to come, but they did. My aunt…she has four children of her own. She has every reason to be bitter and not want to be there Tuesday. She was going to keep my girls but circumstances worked out where she came to the funeral instead. She stood with me and behind me. She was willing to put herself through it to support me. My whole life she has filled a mothering role and my uncle the father figure. The last few years they have been my only real family. Without these guys and my husband I wouldn’t have been OK Tuesday. I sat there, listened to the pastor speak, and focused on the trees nearby. I could feel the sunshine on my face. The chill of the gentle breeze and my nervousness did not set in. It was OK and I did make it through it. The pastor said that for the last years he had been coming to church. He had certainly been using the Bible I gave him years ago. All I hope is that he came to terms with himself and worked it out with God. I guess it is my turn to work it out, to come to terms with life…accept it for what it was and realize that I am a stronger person because of it and there is nothing I can do about the past.[/protect]
If you want for nothing you won’t be disappointed. Gran
and you can’t change the past but you can work on the future.
Instead of facing reality I chose to bury myself in cyberspace this evening and search for wp themes. [protect]There is no appropriate title for this post so I put the question at the front of my mind. I’m not ready to explain…deal…vent…reflect…feel. I received news today that would devastate many. For me it is shock and then unknown. My Dad died. Dad…Here I rarely use that term to refer to him. Soon I must reflect on that aspect because there are so many others that will be buried with him.[/protect]
November 25th brings nothing new. I still don’t have words.
We had a really nice Thanksgiving at home. Djembe fixed an exquisite turkey breast that was tasty, juicy, and absolutely perfect if I may say. He also made pumpkin and pecan pies. I am not a huge fan of pecan pie. I like it and all, but I don’t salivate for it every holiday. This was the absolute best tasting pecan pie! OMG it was awesome with a little vanilla bean ice cream on the side! The pumpkin pie was pretty good too. He tried a Paula Dean recipe that involved apple butter, really good. Tomorrow I plan to heat a little and try it with ice cream. The wine library selections paired nicely with the meal. (You may be wondering what my kitchen role was…sides. That’s all. Jem is the real cook and I can accept that. I’ve watched him enough that I could probably do the holiday meal if I had to, but why? He is so good at it!) After a morning of Macy’s parade watching, preparing for the meal, and having the meal the afternoon was spent taking the holiday nap. After playing a game or two with lil bit I curled up on the couch to nap while Jem enjoyed the NFL Thanksgiving day games.
Tomorrow is Black Friday, are YOU ready? Yeah, me either. I am not a Black Friday shopper. I just can’t handle it. TOO many people and most are in less than a Christmas spirit kind of mood. Don’t get me wrong…all about getting a good deal. Just not into fighting some little old lady for it. I have discovered that if I take my iPod shopping in the crowded chaos doesn’t bother me nearly as much. I had to go to Wal-Mart last night and I was completely oblivious to the insanity around me. Wonderful, beautiful, precious iPod. I must again thank Djembe for this exceptional gift.
Obviously I have been playing with my blog. Not really that thrilled with the white theme. I kind of like th header though. I’ll keep playing. I have another that I came up with, but it is dark. I’m wanting to go for something lighter and more festive. I found a wp theme generator that doesn’t allow complete and total control, but it does make things easier.
Finally I stopped ignoring the WP Dashboard notices about version 2.3.1 being available. I was still using 2.1 which was fine and compatible with all of my plugins and widgets, but I still thought it would be a good idea to upgrade. I should have researched a little more. Several plugins were not compatible so I had to go in search of similar tools. I found a great admin drop down plugin that makes site management cleaner. Instead of category-access I switched to hide-this. I tried it on a few old posts and it seems to work OK. I’m not sure if I like the tag cloud feature of the new WP. So many toys to waste time with.
Off to bed before I decide to mess with the theme again. Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!
I am still going to petition for his drum stuff to accent the office den. I really liked having a music room. 
